Ch. 1 - Make Less Art to Make More Art

Over the past few months, or perhaps closer to a year, I began to notice that my art has become more expressive. Filling up with more symbolism and dreamy, non-existent settings that often feel like their own little pocket universe.

Hyper-focusing on a single moment that tells a whole story, and this makes me extremely happy, as it makes looking at a single artwork fulfilling to me. Some of those hyper-focused artworks that I love looking at include:

"Watchful Gaze"

"Whispering Advice"

"Abyss Below"

Just to show a few…

Slowly, I've been discovering certain things I gravitate towards and have begun to understand what my art style is in general. However, it wasn't something that was born out of continuously creating art (in a way). Finding contentment with my artwork required me to take a step back and reshape my relationship with art. Reminding myself why I started making art in the first place, and figuring out how I wanted my art to feel moving forward.

2022, 2023, and 2024 were years when I created the most new artworks. 2022-2023 were two years where I tried to create more O'odham Art, and found that I just couldn't. Most of the cultural artworks I made felt one-dimensional to me, and I just knew that there was something missing, but I could never put my finger on it. Often, I looked at the artwork and was at a loss for what was missing. That when 2024 came, I decided to take a step back from creating O'odham-focused artwork and shifted my gaze to do pieces that were purely driven by my interests and dreams, personal moments, and feelings. I thought maybe I just needed a break from cultural artwork in order to get back that inspirational spark I had before.

However, by the end of 2024, I still hadn't gotten that spark back to create cultural artworks like I was hoping for. Instead, I found something a bit different. The artworks I created in 2024 were ones that I absolutely love. They are a set of artworks that contain dreamy, reflective elements, and because I had just let myself create whatever my heart wanted to create, I realized that I did have more fun with dreamy, almost surreal snapshots. That I compared my cultural artworks from 2022 and 2023 to the artworks made in 2024, and found out why the 2022-2023 artworks felt one-dimensional to me.

I realized that there was indeed something missing, and that something was the lack of dreamy, reflective symbolism that I love including in my current works. For example:

"Timeless Bond" barely has a story around it, and it was one of the artworks where I tried my hardest to only focus on the potential cultural aspects of it.

"Lu-lu" was another flat artwork, or at least used to be. The only reason it doesn't feel one-dimensional to me anymore is that my parents loved the artwork and were the ones to give it its name and backstory. Before that, I barely looked at the artwork and just saw it as cute before turning my attention away.

And finally, "Missing Part"..." Missing Part" is an artwork that I discontinued in products because it just didn't feel right to me. Again, it's one of those artworks that barely has any story behind it. No strong emotions, and it doesn't have life in it. When creating this artwork, I restricted myself and tried to avoid using the heavy symbols I usually include in my artworks. If I were to redo this particular artwork, I would showcase the more distant and frustrated feelings that were the inspiration for this artwork. Add more of those feelings into the night air, as at its core, this artwork was supposed to convey the struggle of trying to keep your culture alive when you barely know anything about it, and I feel like I didn't succeed in showing that. Hence, I never bothered to look at it anymore.

That's just a few of the artworks from 2022-2023 that felt one-dimensional to me, but thankfully, during these years, not all of my artworks felt lackluster.

"Across the Land" has symbolism in it that I love, and was created using the lost, lonely, but determined feelings I had been holding onto. I combined cultural symbolism with celestial elements to convey the idea that as long as one keeps going, a new day comes over the horizon.

"Resiliant Soul" feeds into that idea that you are never alone in your journey, even though it may feel like it. In the spiritual place, your loved ones and ancestors are walking with you, guiding you, and cheering on. While also giving you skills that you didn't realize you had. Generational skills that get passed on, such as strength, intelligence, and life lessons, all meant to lift you higher than they have ever gone. Each generation lifting the other and passing down culture and knowledge.

But as you can see, the artworks I'm happy with outnumber the artworks that feel flat to me. That realization became obvious to me in 2024. Plus, there are even some cultural artworks that I never posted. If I did, I pretend they don't exist to me, and that's not something I want to do, but it happens.

The distancing I experienced from my own artworks was a result of trying to adhere to the expectations of being an indigenous artist. I love creating O'odham artwork and incorporating cultural elements into my art, but over time, I began to put pressure on myself to only create O'odham Artwork, even when I didn't have strong emotions driving me. Slowly, my artwork felt like I was pumping it out. They weren't pieces that had time and patience put into them. I didn't fully pour my heart, thoughts, emotions, and soul into them, which kind of sucks because I look back at them now and know that if I had taken my time with them, my creativity would have flourished with them.

I know that those flat artworks would have a stronger story, a background, and stronger emotional ties had I allowed myself to be expressive. At most, they had been given colors I like and a name that holds only a fraction of my being, but nothing fulfilling. I feel bad that I even set them off into the world without a stronger foundation to be presented with.

So, basically, to tie off that long explanation (Sorry if that was too long 😅), seeing my cultural artwork becoming flat is why I took a break from creating O'odham artwork in 2024.

Last year, I decided to focus on creating that dreamy, reflective artwork I had been wanting to do, and I didn't pressure myself to force cultural elements into my artwork, unless the piece felt like it needed it. By doing that, I realized what I love drawing, which symbolic elements I like, and saw what fueled my inspiration to make art in general.

I love that my cultural artwork connects with others and gives someone a reminder of their family, their home, and themselves. Listening to people share their connection with my art is important to me, and to continue providing that experience, I knew I needed to take a break to refresh my mindset when creating cultural artwork. And in doing so, I unknowingly gave myself time to develop how I wanted to mix dreamy elements with culture. That break allowed me to create

"Whispering Advice",

"Whirlwind", and

"Eternal Lovers",

Along with a few others, I have yet to release.

This might be just me being hypercritical and overanalyzing my own artwork, but I just ended up writing about why some of my artwork felt flat, and then this whole essay happened. But regardless, though, it felt weird to me to not make any cultural artworks in 2024, I ended up liking that decision because it pulled me out of an art rut I didn't even realize I was in.